BAD DAY
by Tom Guyette

Schmuck - Always getting stepped on, getting the short
          end of the stick
Radio Voice [VOICE]
Extras - Evil people who unwittingly make Schmuck's life
         miserable.

[Schmuck is driving in his car]

VOICE: Good morning, campers, it's 8:03am.  I'm a disembodied
radio voice without a name and you're listening to W.E.I.R.D.
in the morning.  We have a traffic jam near exit 13 of

[Schmuck turns off the radio as he nears the parking lot at
school.  We see the outside view of his car heading into the
lot--which is almost completely empty.  Closeup on Schmuck]

SCHMUCK: [think-over] Oh, good, there are plenty of spots
open.  I'll get to class on time today!

[External view of the car, as Schmuck makes his move to park.
Three cars come from nowhere and zoom into the spaces in
front of him.  He is a bit upset, but moves on to another
part of the lot.  Again, cars zoom into the spaces he is
headed for.  Finally, the lot is full.  He gives up and parks
miles away.]

SCHMUCK: [think-over, winded while walking up the hill to the
campus] Boy, this isn't my day.  [looks at his watch] At
least I'm not going to be late for class.  [he reaches the
classroom, and opens the door.  There are about four people
sitting in the room.  He walks up to the second row and is
about to sit down, when a person sits in the chair.  Speaking
aloud] Hey! [person ignores him.  He sighs, gives up, and
turns around to sit in the chair next to this one.  Someone
is sitting there.  He turns around to look behind the chair
he was going to sit in previously, and someone is just
occupying it.  He spins around and looks over the whole
classroom, which is now 100% full.  He goes to the back of
the room and stands, pitifully.]

[Later, class is letting out.]

SCHMUCK: [think-over] Good, now that I know how to do that
programming assignment, I can get a head start on it.  [he
heads into the door of the computer lab, which is nearly
empty.  Wait a minute.  It's not empty.  A bunch of people
suddenly materialize in the chairs.  He screams.]

[Later, in the parking lot.  A really gross, annoying person
approaches SCHMUCK as he is about to get into his car.]

GROSS: Hi, >SCHMUCK<.  Could I please have a ride to my
apartment?  I really don't feel like walking, and you live
right next door, so ... come on, whaddya say?

SCHMUCK: [looks at camera, waggles his eyebrows] Sorry,
>GROSS<, my car's full.  [camera pans to the window of the
car, which is choc full of people, limbs everywhere.  Fade to
black]