DON'T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL
by Tom Guyette

Roommate 1 [R1]
Roommate 2 [R2]
Roommate 3 [R3]

[ROOMMATE 1 and ROOMMATE 2 are sitting at the table waiting
to eat supper, ROOMMATE 3 delivers it and sits down]

R1: So what're we having tonight, >R3<?

R3: Pizza.

R2: But we just had pizza last night.

R3: Yeah, but this is homemade.  Here.  [delivering slices]
so what did your project advisor have to say at your project
meeting?

R1: [picking up a slice] Oh, he said we were making good
progress, but [uncomfortable pause while he takes a bite] we
were a little off track, so he set us straight.

R3: Off track how?

R2: Well, [uncomfortable pause for bite] he said we should be
concentrating more on specifics, and less on generalities.

R3: Oh.  Well, I had my first class with Professor Rubinstein
today.  He's actually a really good teacher.  The thing is
[uncomfortable pause for bite] he gets distracted with all
sorts of random anecdotes in the middle of class.  But
they're [uncomfortable pause for bite] fun to listen to.

R1: Ohhhhh ... the WEIRDest thing happened to me today!  I
was walking down Highland Street, and this guy came up to me,
and [uncomfortable pause for a bite] he told me to get on
board the ship.

R3: What ship?

R1: That's exactly what I asked him, and he said
[uncomfortable pause for bite] "That one."  And he pointed up
into the sky.

R2: Nothing there, I hope.

R1: Well, that's the weird part.  He pointed up in the sky, I
looked where he was pointing, and I saw [uncomfortable pause
for bite] a [uncomfortable pause for bite] cloud that was
shaped like a space ship.  When I looked back down, the guy
was nowhere to be seen.

R2: Wow, that is [uncomfortable pause for bite] weird.

[the phone rings]

R3: I'll get it.  [he gets up and answers the phone]  Hello?
[muffled voice blahblahblahs]  Mhm.  Oh, wow!  Thanks!  Bye.
[he sits back down]

R2: Who was [REALLY long pause as he devours an entire piece
of pizza] that?

R3: It was [fairly long pause as he eats a couple bites] the
[another bite] landlord.  He said we have a [uncomfortable
pause for a couple more bites] gas leak in the [bite]
building and we should [bite] get out ... [starts to look
woozy] as soon as ... we ... [passes out on top of his
pizza ... zoom out as all three fall headfirst into their
plates, fade to black]