THE SLAMMER
by Tom Guyette

Announcer - Typical TV commercial announcer voice
                        over
TV Man
TV Wife
TV Kid1
TV Kid2 - A full family illustrating the use of the
          Slammer

[TV Man is sitting watching TV, drinking a beer.  Camera
rotates to show the TV, which goes on the fritz.  Man leans
forward and smacks the side of the TV, which turns normal.
Man smiles contentedly, TV fritzes again, etc.]

ANNOUNCER: Tired of electronic equipment that works
intermittently?  [TV Wife is wrestling with the microwave,
which keeps 'stalling.'  She smacks it and it works.  It
stalls again, she smacks it again, etc.] Are you sick of
having to smack your home electronics to make them work
properly?  Kids' toys not what they used to be? [TV Kid 1 and
2 are playing Nintendo, which blips and blinks out, the KIDS
reach out and smack it, it works again]  Your hands can get
sore from all that smacking.  But now there's a product that
can fix all that!  [Zoom out to whole family, which listens
up intently]  The SLAMMER [cut to TV with device sitting on
the floor next to it] is designed to save your hands from
[SLAMMER smacks the TV] the task of smacking intermittent
equipment to make it work.  Just set up the SLAMMER next to
[cut to kids] the intermittent equipment, turn them both on
[SLAMMER smacks the Nintendo], and away you go.  You'll
never have to worry about intermittent equipment again.  [cut
to wife at microwave]  The SLAMMER.  [SLAMMER swings, in slow
motion, to smack the microwave, which bursts open and spews
radiation all over the place.  Ditzy commercial music, fade
to black]